HOW JESUS CHANGED OUR LIVES

I have early memories of when I began to perceive that there was something special beyond what I could see. These formative, precious moments happened when my dad took me to catholic mass when I was quite young. When the congregation would sing certain songs, my spirit would feel like it was soaring up and up and into a place without end. I know now, that was the Holy Spirit and music and singing has turned out to be one of my most sensitive doorways into His glorious Presence.​

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In the Beginning

I can't remember a time when I didn't have Jesus in my heart; my mom tells me the story of how she asked me at the age of three if I wanted to invite Jesus into my heart and I didn't hesitate. But I do remember being four years old and feeling a burden for my three-year-old friend Morgan to make the same decision I had. I was deeply concerned for her to know Jesus and receive everlasting life. We held hands one exciting day as I led her in the prayer to cross over from death to life.

I fell out of touch with Morgan as we grew up, and I don't know whether she follows Jesus now, but I hope the relationship decision she made that day was as significant and permanent for her as my decision was for me.

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When I was 9, I attended a catholic elementary/junior high school. I always liked singing so I joined a choir at school and then joined our local catholic church choir. I was with the church choir until I was 19 years old. I started out as a soprano with the girls and as I grew older and my voice changed, I would be with the altos then settled as a tenor. After many years with the choir, I was eventually given solos to sing for special masses like Easter, Christmas and other events. I started praying to God the Father to help me with these songs so he would be honored and given glory. I don't know how to describe it, but as I prayed, I felt a presence which was warm, comforting and peaceful. I got goose bumps each time! As I sang, this presence got stronger and I was moved to just give my whole being to the song, which I did! Many in the congregation shared with me that they were moved to tears and drawn into a place of wonder and adoration for the Father through my singing. Those were my first experiences with the power of prayer. I am still in awe today of this presence when I pray.

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As a baby, I was baptized in the catholic church and raised in a home that was religious for only about two hours on Sunday mornings, but the Trinity was always intriguing to my heart, soul, mind and spirit. I can see how the Lord wooed me through Holy Spirit since I was just a wee girl. He saved me from harm and even death multiple times in my life as He guided my life, though I did not know Him. He loved me, formed me to be a moral woman and blessed my life with extreme favor. He was patient with me and He waited a very long time for me… THEN I ENCOUNTERED HIM at a very ripe age… Everything changed. Encounter must be experienced, and rarely can be explained, but by His love, I learned to love. Forever and always.

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Screeeeechh  

The train passed over my cocconed figure in a crevice between two slabs of concrete. After it’s passing, getting up, I exclaimed cries of excitement, fear, and joy. I was alive and free. 

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Or so I thought… The day after i felt the need to do something crazier, more insane, more fear inducing to experience the adrenaline I felt laying under the train. I had God but I lived like he wasn't enough to fill the desire I had for extremes. The desire I had to give my all for something. I thought,  maybe it could be a political cause, maybe a an extreme feat that could cost my life. Maybe If I loved a person with everything I would find the end to my searching. I was looking everywhere, blind to the fact that I had what i was looking for. Except, I viewed my walk with God as something that no I longer needed to purse with my whole self as I believed that once I had, I need not search any longer. It wasn’t until my great revelation of the mystery of God that I understood that he is worth being sought after. He is worth being searched for, even after having already attained. He has been fulfilling my desire for extremes with his love. I can be extreme with him, and he takes me to extreme places. He knows what he creates and he fulfills the needs of his creations.

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